I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
