so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
