Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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