Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
