I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
