he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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