Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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