The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
