it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
