alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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