He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
