Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
