He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
PANTIES FOUND
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
