i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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