she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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