My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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