He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
