Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
