No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
