new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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