Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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