You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
