She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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