Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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