Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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