We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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