Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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