dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
