I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
