i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
