I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
