Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
