I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
