If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
