May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
