it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
