the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Someone came in the potted fern
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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