My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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