just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
