No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
