I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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