i just wanna soil my oats bro
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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