my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
