did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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