Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
