It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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