we made out on top of his cat.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
