Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
