I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
