I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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