You can't special order awesome
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
